6 Lessons from Improv that Apply to Relationships

Earlier this year I wrote 6 Lessons From Improv That Apply To Life. Now I thought I’d narrow the focus a bit. Here are six lessons that apply to relationships.

1. Communication Using “Yes, and…”

This is the first (and, depending on who you ask, the only) rule of improv. “Yes, and…” means that you acknowledge what your scene partner said as true, and then build upon it.

In improv they throw around the word “agreement” a lot; however, this doesn’t mean you need to agree in a relationship all the time. Can you imagine saying “yes, and…” to your partner in every circumstance? The sex would get kinky fast! Also your relationship would hit a toxicity level like that of chocolate to dogs.

“Yes, and” simply means you don’t deny your partner’s reality. In improv, if someone says, “We’re going to be late for your brothers birthday party,” and you say, “Brother? I don’t have a brother,” you’re fucked. If your significant other says, “That hurt my feelings,” acknowledge that; don’t respond with, “Oh that wasn’t that mean, stop being so sensitive!” (An excerpt from my own life… Ok, multiple excerpts.)

If this is true, what else is true?

This is the next level of “yes, and.” Asking the question, “If this is true, what else is true?” is a way to find something fun in the scene.

“If he likes talking in a weird voice to his cat, what voices will he use if I bring him to a farm?”

“If she offered to help me paint my house, would she help me… bury this body?”

“They pulled off heart surgery even though they were plumbers. What else can they do on their first try?”

Now, let me asterisk this for relationships: I’m only talking about this in a positive sense — not about going down a crazy-town rabbit hole in your brain:

“Well if her high school boyfriend was blonde and named Daniel, then she’s definitely cheating on me with my blonde best friend Daniel!”

No. It’s more like this:

“She’s affectionately mentioned the sunflowers outside of her parent’s home several times. I’ll get her a bouquet of sunflowers.”